Originally Written: April 10, 2013
I barely slept at all on Sunday night. I woke every couple of hours until I finally gave up in the early hours of the morning. Last night I slept till 2:00 am, and here I am.
I started this new thing. I fall asleep, and then about an hour later I begin screaming. H wakes me or I wake myself. Sometimes I go back to sleep only to repeat the scream in a little while. Sometimes I remember what I was dreaming and sometimes I do not.
And my dreams!?! Oh, my dreams! Some of the people have been dead for years: my sister, my mother, my aunt, but that’s not the strange part. They’re all weird ages. My son could be three-years-old and my grandchildren could be five or six or seventeen. Now that just doesn’t work. In one dream I was a teenager, and in another my mother was a child and I was her mother. I’m not going to analyze that one.
And I talk…
and talk and talk. H tells me about it. I had a bad night a few nights ago. I woke around 3:00 AM and went back to bed at 5:00 AM. H said he could hear me talking the entire time he was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower, and I was still grumbling when he finished.
Last night I dreamed that it was Christmas Eve, and I desperately needed some moisturizer. I must have been desperate if I was willing to go to a mall on Christmas Eve. I made H and my father take me to Macy’s to get it. It was only minutes before the store closed. They dropped me off at the opposite end of the mall. Why the opposite end of the mall? I don’t know. I sprinted down the length of the mall. I squeezed through the door just as a security guard was closing it, found the moisturizer, found the register and was just about to make the purchase when I woke, heart pounding.
I punish myself in my dreams. It’s unbelievable what is required of me. I’m always forced to carry out near impossible feats – often time sensitive – of tremendous skill, boldness or danger while something unimaginable weighs in the balance should I fail: an infectious disease will eradicate half the world’s population, Earth will run out of water, or House Hunters will be canceled. What? I like House Hunters.
There you go, internet. That’s my bag of woes tonight. It could be worse. We really could have a global water crisis. Oh, wait.