Dreaming of my Bladder

Originally Written: July 6, 2015

toilet-1I had a dream the other night that someone was chasing me with a hammer. I do not think they wanted to hang a picture for me or make a birdhouse. I had the feeling that they wanted to sink that hammer into my skull.

Last night, I had a more interesting dream. I dreamed that I was in the master bedroom in my house in Maryland, and someone gave me a pair of shorts that were for a 10-year-old boy. I squeezed into them (that’s how you know it was a dream), sucked in my stomach, and buttoned a two-button closure. Then I suddenly needed to pee. You saw that coming, didn’t you? Oh, so bad, I had to pee.

I started fumbling with the buttons, but I had a hard time sucking in my stomach enough to unbutton them. The pressure was unbelievable. My bladder was bursting, and I had a strong urge to let it go. I finally got the boy-shorts unbuttoned just as another woman appeared. She had to use the bathroom, too. She started running for the door.

Finally success!! The shorts were unbuttoned. I made a run for it as I was pulling the pants down. I got through the bathroom door before her. When I finally looked at the toilet, a large, plastic dry cleaner bag entangled the entire seat. I was yanking my pants down with one hand and trying to remove the plastic bag with the other when H woke me. My pajama bottoms and panties were halfway down. I can’t tell you how fast I jumped out of that bed and ran for the bathroom. I barely made it.

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